So, I'm starting this blog to vent frustrations that I can't or won't vent  publicly. I know, I know this is kinda publicly but most would never think to look for me here. I'm 38 years old I'm divorced, I have a 10 year old daughter with an ex-girlfriend. She's not mine biologically, but she is my daughter none the less. I started a new career a few years ago. Long story short my Mom got sick and I being the youngest and able to move back home I now live with my Mother. She has improved a lot, but she still can't do all the things around the house she needs to and I have a sinking feeling I won't be able to leave until she's gone. makes me a great catch!!! Add to that that I have 2 dogs who I adore... Buddy the white one has Addisons disease and has bladder and shedding problems. Clifford the big red one, is just that he's 105 lbs of teddy bear.

I'm not done adding yet. I live in Texas, and I'm an atheist. I'm not the in your face God is dead kind. I'm just a live and let live kind. I have a higher power, it's just that it's science. That doesn't go over well with most women I know or meet. The last one who I've known for 25 year or so picked me up on Facebook... just out of the blue she asked me out... How could I turn such a beautiful woman down.

I knew she was very religious.but I also thought that maybe she knew something about me as well... We went for drinks the Sunday after Valentines day... She did things to me in my truck I wasn't sure were possible, and as she got out of my truck she said "I love you"... we both kinda laughed, and she said OMG what did i just say!!!". So we dated a few more weeks, then one night at a dinner away from her kids(which wasn't often) she asked me that dreaded question... "So, do you believe in God?" over the salad course... I just looked at her... all the while my brain is debating... Just say Yes!!!!  and You have to tell the truth or the relationship won't work!!!!

I told her I did not, and I explained some of the things as to why I didn't such as my first degree is in History with a minor in comparative religion... and what not... She started crying at the table and had to excuse herself. She came back and we halfheartedly finished dinner . I thought the date and us were over. We went and had a couple of drinks.. well I had a couple she had one... then we drove home. I kissed her goodnight and I got in my truck and drove home. I texted her that I was home as she had requested, and  she proceeded to tell me how much she loved me(This wan't the first time she had said that to me.. the others I just shrugged off as familiarity).... at this point I'll stop for the night... there's a lot more I have to say and this has been cathartic for me... even if no one else reads it.